Editor’s Note #1: This post was originally a letter sent to Chevrolet in protest to its commercial for the 2007 Silverado. It came to mind recently after hearing John Cougar on the radio waves.
Do you remember where you were on September 11, 2001?
I sure do.
I was in a Chevy truck thinking, “those crazy religious fucks will never get me in here. This damn truck is stronger than a Humvee!”
I was in the same darn Chevy truck the day Hurricane Katrina hit, thinking, “those damn Category 5 winds haven’t got a chance!”
I’m so lucky I own a Chevy.
Actually, I don’t own a Chevy. I don’t even own a car. That’s because I live in New York City. The same New York City that was ripped to pieces that day in September 2001. No need to revisit it here.
But apparently Chevrolet feels the need to revisit that day, albeit briefly, with a truck commercial called “Anthem.”
John Cougar sings “Our Country,” a sappy paean to the Great American Spirit. Images of Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. are blended seamlessly with scenes of rural Americana. We see the American War in Vietnam, the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, and a bunch of hippies. We also get plenty of cowboys, soldiers, and firefighters. We are lulled into a patriotic stupor.
So what does it all mean and what do these images have in common with each other?
The 2007 Chevy Silverado.
Our Country, Our Truck.
Thank Fucking God.
That’s right consumers, the General Motors Corporation has some news for you—the 2007 Chevy Silverado will make you feel good about being an American. It’ll make you feel sad about Vietnam. It’ll make you feel especially proud if you are a cowboy. You may want to become a firefighter or a soldier. I’m not sure what it’ll make you feel about hippies.
But before we see the life affirming 2007 Chevy Silverado, we catch a brief glimpse of the 6-month anniversary tribute to 9/11, the Tribute in Light.
BOY, WAS IT HORRIBLE.
YOU NEED A NEW TRUCK.
Do the people at Chevy have no shame, no moral compass, no compassionate heart, or even…a fucking clue? When did 9/11 become a good sales pitch?
Maybe this was inevitable. Girls in bikinis can only sell so many cars.
Thank you Chevy, for making me feel like the dumb-ass American that your commercial portrays me to be.
Thank you Chevy, for making this country look like a bunch of apathetic cowboys who have no connection to the real tragedies that your stylish commercial portrays and exploits.
Thank you Chevy, for making me never want to hear John Cougar again.
And thanks Chevy, for making me tell every single person I know in this universe that Chevy sucks, has no fucking soul, and wants to make money off your dead children.
Fuck you Chevy, and everything you think you stand for.
Editor’s Note #2: I am specifically not posting the commercial here for viewing. It’s not worth your click.
Artwork by the Rock File.